The Most Important Two Minutes of the Day

I stumbled upon an article, “The Two Most Important Minutes of the Day” years ago while flipping through a women’s magazine as I was getting my hair cut. I was intrigued. If these two minutes did, in fact, exist then I wanted know about them.

It turns out that this was a “can this marriage be saved” kind of article, and the two minutes it was referring to were the first two minutes after a husband walks through the door at the end of the day. Very June Cleaver, I thought. However, the concept of those two defining minutes has stuck with me and I have come to believe that there is great wisdom in taking the suggestion from that article to be particularly mindful of them, not only with my husband, but also with my children. The concept can easily be extended to friends, colleagues, extended family and pretty much anyone with whom we are in relationship.

Perhaps this is some offshoot of the advice most of us have been given about the importance of first impressions. The defining nature of initial encounters is also the premise for Malcolm Gladwell’s bestselling book Blink. The idea is nothing new. But the advice I found offered in that rather unlikely of spots has really made a difference to me. There are a variety of simple ways that I employ it in my daily life. Among them:

Picking the kids up from school. I try to make sure that I am not on the phone or otherwise distracted as I greet them. This does not always translate into special moments of meaningful sharing, but it is the time they are most likely to talk about the events of their day. One thing is for sure, when I am checked out as they are checking in, I can almost feel the wall of separation come down.

I try to extend this same courtesy to my husband when we first catch up at the end of the day. This is a tangible way that I can show him how much he is valued, and it sets the stage for the mutual regard and respect that I want to characterize our relationship and our home. While it may feel sexist, my extending this courtesy first, I have found that it does make a difference. And I have found that consideration is catchy. To paraphrase Gandhi, I am trying to “be the change that I want to see in the world”.

A very simple way that I employ this idea as I go about my day is just to try and be wherever I am. If I am talking to a colleague, interacting with a friend, or simply checking out at the grocery store, taking the time to be present, to make eye contact, and to read faces, can make all the difference. I have found that if I am willing to go first, I am usually rewarded with a considerate and surprisingly satisfying exchange in return.

It is such a simple little investment, but it pays such great dividends!