April Fool

With two teenagers in the house and another one close on their heels, emotions around here run the gamut and often run rampant, as well. I notice that when I respond to someone’s bad behavior or foul mood with a knee jerk response, emphasis may rightly be placed on the word jerk. Because I act just like one. It is as though the irrational, immature and utterly unreasonable behavior of my child is a direct affront to my very existence. It brings out a righteousness in me that would be laughable if it wasn’t kind of pathetic.

But I am learning the fine art if letting it go. I am learning not to take myself so seriously, which has nothing to do with not taking them seriously. In fact, by getting past the adolescent indignation their maddening behavior often elicits in me, I find that I am much better able to see what is really going on with them.

Kids need to take ownership of their bad behavior so that they can move on to the next step of dealing with it. But by matching them and call them one as they descend into the depths of immaturity I not only rob them of this opportunity, but I model the very behavior I find so deplorable, thus perpetuating the babyishness I can’t stand.

My kids can be maddening. No doubt about that. Deciding that I will lighten up once they model only lovely behavior will ensure a very protracted sour season for all of us. But when I unilaterally let go of my need to prevail in inane arguments the turn around is just shy of miraculous.

So I am trying not to take myself so seriously. I am trying to remind myself that their bad mood rarely has anything to do with me. And I repeat to myself that I always have a choice about how their behavior will affect me. I do not need to go down with the ship. I am free to have a lovely day even in the midst of their adolescent angst. After all, I already endured my own. Certainly I am smart enough not to sign up for a double dose.

I can be an uptight fool or I can resist taking the bait, recognizing the transience of foolish adolescent behavior.  The choice is all mine.